Tuesday, June 23, 2009

A Twitter Convo Between Perez Hilton & John Mayer (NOTE: Foul language)

johncmayer:Good lord, that vocal on "Death of Autotune" is pitchy!!

PerezHilton@johncmayer That's real funny! Ha ha! And I'm sure you also think I "deserved" to get hit!

johncmayer@PerezHilton Not true. In fact I'd like to train you in Krav Maga. Then you'll have the situational awareness not to get in someone's face.

johncmayer@perezhilton I also want to train you in an old martial art called "Never Call A Black Dude a Faggot" Jitsu.

PerezHilton@johncmayer Ok.

PerezHilton@johncmayer Dude, I get it. I GET IT. But it's not fucking funny to me. Karma would be me losing my site and going bankrupt or what have u.

PerezHilton@johncmayer Karma is NOT getting punched in the face!

johncmayer@PerezHilton agreed. So let's meet up this week and I'll give you your first krav maga instruction. We'll break the event down and learn...

johncmayer@PerezHilton 1. de-escalation tactics. 2.Creating distance. Instuctives ("get back!" placing the hand out) 3. Combined block and attack....

PerezHilton@johncmayer I can never tell if ur being sincere or not. It doesnt matter. Have Harley email me contact info for this so I can do on my own.

PerezHilton@johncmayer I cant DM u and Im not trying to play this out publicly. B well. I dont wish u harm. I talk shit but I sincerely wish no 1 harm.

johncmayer@PerezHilton this will be the last public mention of it. You know how to find me. Words have cause and effect, even if the effect is wrong.

johncmayer@perezhilton from the heart, what you experienced these last 24 hrs is a profound lack of control. You can't blog the world, my friend.

johncmayer@perezhilton people don't want to see you hurt, they want to see you experience something equalizing.

PerezHilton@johncmayer I totally did experience a lack of control - on the part of Will.I.Am and his road manager! I agree with you 100%!

PerezHilton@johncmayer And people DO want to see me hurt. That's what I've been reading over and over again. But it's cool. I'll be back 2 normal tomm.

johncmayer@PerezHilton Yah, you're not getting it... OOH! OK. It's like the Matrix. You live in the Perez Matrix. You wrote the program, you can fly.

johncmayer@PerezHilton then you leave the Matrix, and oh, what the hell, you're not gonna get it. You're a sweet guy though.

PerezHilton@johncmayer Once again, we agree! I live in my own world. And in my world, I would never punch someone. And in my world, that's illegal!

PerezHilton@johncmayer Also, in my world, if someone repeatedly talks shit about me, I ignore them or TALK as much shit back. But that's just me.

PerezHilton@johncmayer All I really care about in this world is doing right by my family and my dog, and sharing and listening to music.

johncmayer@PerezHilton you might have a gash on your face for a few more days, but the real healing? It's happening right now.

johncmayer@perezhilton now you sit down behind that Tandy computer and you hash out a Doogie diary. Be sure to pause, think, and keep typing.

johncmayer@perezhilton because today, the fourth wall came crashing down. Mario, you are human. I call upon Twitter to be kind to you. #perezisokbyme

PerezHilton@johncmayer I'm not human! I'm a monster! Good night, John Mayer.

@PerezHilton Good night Perez, you dumb shit. #perezisokbyme

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