Thursday, July 29, 2010

Brad & Angelina's $40 Million Mansion

Poor Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, living in poverty conditions and all.  I mean their house is only 18,000 square feet and has a mere 15 bedrooms.  How can they exist???  I feel terrible for them.  I think I'm going to send them 10 dollars.

Please keep them in your thoughts.

Oksana Grigorieva "Beautiful Heartache"

This morning there was news that Oksana and Mel Gibson were having another legal battle -- this time over the release of Oksana's new CD, which she cannot distribute unless Mel signs off on it since he was executive producer and co-wrote the music.  I remember hearing something about her being a singer at some point... but seeing that story this morning felt like 'oh man, she's trying to make a quick buck off her exposure during this train wreck."  Then I searched for her music to hear how terrible it was and found this video.  I thought it was going to be a big pile of suckage.  And while I don't particularly like the song very much... it's not bad.  In fact I know a lot of people who, not knowing who this was, would probably like it.  I'm surprised and disappointed that it wasn't funny-bad.

(By the way, Mel directed/produced the video too:)

Tree-Man: This guy is half-man and half tree!!!

OK... slow news day, so, look at this crazy video I just came across!!!  And by no means am I claiming to have "discovered" this, seeing as 18 million people have viewed this video before me.  This guy is half-man and half-tree!!!  This is not going to help my hypocondriac ways.

Pardon me but that tree is smoking.

Lady Gaga's boyfriend is gross!

Lady Gaga is the most popular entity in music right now.  She could easily buy get any guy she wants right now and she chooses........ this guy.  I'm sorry for being judgemental but, EW! 

He's not wearing joke mullet wig or glueing hair trimmings to his chest to be funny either.

They were in Texas on Monday having a pool party and making out and stuff.

Again I comment: EW!

She banned sex for her and all her dancers while on tour.  Maybe she's ensuring she doesn't break the rules by dating a soggy mop.

Justin Bieber - chased down on a segway in Arizona

Justin Bieber was almost eaten by rabid tween fans the other day in Glendale, Arizona.  And a giddy dad caught the whole thing on tape.  Justin was teasing the hormones with a game of "you can't catch me" on a segway.  They almost did.  Best line from giddy dad: "Don't grab him!"  Behold:

Bob Barker on Drew Carey's hosting skill

Wonder what Bob Barker thinks of the job Drew Carey is doing hosting his baby "The Price Is Right?"  Sure it's something kind, respectful, and complimentary?  Think again.  Click on Bob below to hear what he says about Drew's hosting skill:

Team Barker!!!  Now spade your dog dammitt!!!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Justin Bieber going to jail too???

Here's Justin Bieber handcuffed, outfitted in prison garb, and heading for the slammer:

OK... ok... he's not heading to the REAL slammer.  Probably heading to catering actually.  This pic was taken on the set of CSI where Justin is doing a guest spot on the show. 

But you know he must be thinking: "so this is how Lindsay Lohan feels, hmm?"

Ghandi loves Halle Berry

Pink Ghandi mysteriously showed up on the front gate to actress Halle Berry's LA home yesterday.  The police were called to investigate, which I think was a silly move... she should have put that gate up on eBay!!!  (OK fine -- maybe graffiti isn't as miraculous as Jesus toast... whatever.  Now I'm craving toast.)

Lindsay Lohan's new pre-prison tattoo

Before she went into the clink, she decided to get some ink.  Here's a shot of the new tatt, which didn't get finished due to that pesky jail sentence.

It's of a girl with her eyes closed.  Lindsay decided on the design because "she liked the innocence of the girl."

Maybe Mel Gibson will get a tattoo of a happy magical pony on his lower back next.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Justin Bieber makes me feel unaccomplished.

Justin Bieber was seen driving around (with human-ogre-friend Sean Kingston) in his new $200,000 Lamborghini Gallardo.

Meanwhile here's what I was driving when I was 16:

The rust gave it character... and gave me rashes.  Ew.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Paris Hilton: Topless in Italy

So that's what desperation looks like.  As the world focuses on Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton has been busted abroad for marijuana 2 times in the last month and was seen sunbathing topless right under the noses of paparazzi in Italy yesterday.  Seems she'll do whatever it takes to keep some of the limelight.

Katy Perry SMOKIN' in a bikini!

Literally... smoking... BOO!  She hit a waterpark yesterday wearing a bikini made for an action figure and took a smoke break with her crew.  Waterslides and Winstons.  Gag.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Germans hate Lindsay Lohan......'s belly button!

Lindsay did a photoshoot for German GQ magazine and they had serious issues with her protruding belly button.  Haha!! 

See photos below.  The belly button was removed completely on the cover.  (In a video of the photo shoot the belly button was fully visible over her highly pulled shorts.)  Then in the pic with the bow and arrow they moved her belly button way up!  The belly button was moved to just below her ribcage!  Awkward placing.  Germans love David Hasselhoff and they obviously love their Photoshop too.

Justin Bieber: Comic Book Star

Justin Bieber is not yet legal (back down creepy cougars!!) and he already has a biography coming out.  But not a boring literary work on his life... no... his life story will be told in 32 pages, in the form of a comic book.  And here's your first look of a Stan-Lee'd up Bieber:

Get your Bieber Comic this October.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Pink Injured During Aerial Stunt In Concert! Shocking Accident Caught On Tape!!!

Pink was going to do some aerial moves duting her encore of "So What" last night in Germany but instead (because she wasn't properly fastened into her harness) was flung into the barricade in the front of the stage.  It was a scary moment... but the Pinkness is OK and took to her Twitter page late last night to confirm:
"Ok all my lovers out there- nothings broken, no fluid in the lungs, just seriously sore. I made that barricade my b*tch!!!! Thanx nurnberg:"

Another piece of proof that Pink is an invinsible cyborg.
WARNING: There ARE a couple obscenities in the video posted below:

Dear Jackson: "I think I'm pregnant with my twin's boyfriend's baby"

Dear Jackson,

i have a weird problem I need to resolve.  My boyfriend doesn't know, but I have an identical twin sister and we've BOTH been dating him for the past year.  My sister has a boyfriend, and we've both been dating him too.  This all has been going on since last May.  It started as a joke but we just never stopped.  Then, I was getting sick in the
morning a lot last week so I took a pregnancy test, and it came up positive.  I haven't told anyone... even my sister... and I don't know
what to do.  Or whose baby it is!  What should I do?  I know I did this to myself, but I need advise!  HELP!!!

> Tara the Twin

Lindsay Lohan checks into Sober House

Smart move... but she's most likely doing it to lessen her jail time.

Lady Gaga's new house could be a neighborhood

Lady Gaga has made a LOT of money.  A huge album followed by a deluxe version of the huge album, soon to be followed (in August) by a remix album containing songs from said huge album.  Outside of that, a tour that ssems infinant.  Cha-ching! 

All leading to this.  Here's Lady Gaga's new house.  A quaint little shack in Bel Aire, California.  She's renting, not buying... and the the rent is $25,000 a month.  I just got chest pains typing that.  Good lord that's a lot of money, especially for someone who's home maybe a couple days a month!  It'll probably be a good 10-12 years before she sees all of her house.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Monday, July 12, 2010

Lebron FINALLY chooses his team...

Sorry Miami... Lebron is Team Edward.  God to they look happy together...

Jessica Simpson is 30... and desperate!

Jessica Simpson celebrated her 30th birthday this past weekend by jumping the bones of her new boyfriend/fiance/possible-babby-daddy Eric Johnson.  I feel bad for the person on the towel behind them.  "Um... excuse me?  You're blocking our view of the ocean.  Can you please put her down?"


Carrie Underwood & John Krasinski get married on Saturday!

... Just not to each other.  Carrie married her NHL-hockey-playing fiance Michael Fisher in Greensboro, GA.  Meanwhile The Office's John Krasinski married actress Emily Blunt in a private ceremony.  It should have been Pam dammit!!!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Katy Perry Topless

Why is Katy Perry doing this??  I guess "if you've got them flaunt them" is the answer... but I never pictured her as this kind of "here they are" kind of girl.  Could this be a fake?  I know it's non-man of me but I hope so.  What do you think???  Email me:

Here's the pic that the internet is buzzing about (made safe for work):

Bieber back with Ex

Justin Bieber could date any tween he wants (and some creepy moms as well... shame on you!!), but who does he pick to get with??  His ex.

Looks like Justin Bieber and his ex-girlfriend Caitlin Beadles had quite a trip to the Bahamas together.  She posted on Twitter, "I hate when you have to leave. It's like half of me is gone. I miss you already!

Go ahead tween girls, let the Caitlin hatred begin.  And to give you something to focus on, here's a pic of the two on their Bahama vacay together.  Awwww... hatred....

Time to start up the "Lady Gaga is a man" rumors again...

Holy disturbia!!!  This is a picture of Lady Gaga.  What what what???
It's a picture that will be printed in Japan's version of Vogue Magazine.  What do you think???  I can't decide whether she's brilliant or mad.  I think I'll go with C) All of the above.

Sandra Bullock/Jesse James Divorce Papers

It's final.  Here's their divorce papers.  Just in case you're studying to be a paralegal or something.  Have a looksie:

View Document

Britney's looking good!

BRITNEY BODY UPDATE: Britney's been working out... and it's paying off.  This is the best we've seen her since pre-baldie days.  Impressed I am.

Paris Hilton packs heavy for World Cup

Paris Hilton is on her way to the World Cup in South Africa... because I'm sure she cares about soccer.  Here's what Paris packs for a 10 day trip.  If I were behind her in baggage check at the airport, I would be pissed.